Spring
blossoms
ooze
like sweat,
bleed from stems
of the
red
bud tree --
drops that turn
to claret or port.
Not one leaf
unfurled
yet
from the
green spikes so
tightly
rolled
at twigs'
ends.
A fragment written March 2010, finished January 2011
Beautiful. I can see them, still tightly furled.
ReplyDeleteI love the suggestion of life deep inside the trees, beginning to show in drops of blood.
ReplyDeleteI revised it because both the ending was weak and I had inadvertently confused what the image of blood turned to wine was about, It would be logical to think I was referring to sap which at least behaves like a liquid,and I did not indicate what I was referring to. But I was breaking with logic here (I know , unusual for me, right?
ReplyDeleteYour comments helped me to see this thank you.
Please let me know if this is an improvement or not. Thank you.
very nice!! I really like the play on the colours!! very well written!
ReplyDeleteI now read it as the red blossoms being compared to drops of wine or blood in their shape and the way they cluster on the branches. I love the imagery of the poem, Lillian.
ReplyDeleteLillian, you write with beautiful imagery!
ReplyDeleteThis is a lowly poem. And a wonderful example.
ReplyDelete