Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Puente of the city

the glass towers tell
the city back to itself
in cold images
of concrete,

~steel and emptiness~

echo noise,
reflecting blank expressions
yet with the rising
sun they burn golden

written February 2010


  1. Oh lovely, Lillian! That last line just turns the whole man-made skyline into something magical.

    I'm sharing all I learnt on PF. Next Sunday is the Waltz Wave and I specifically want to refer to your work in that form, if I may.

  2. Nice contrasting views of a city in this one. I love the lines "the glass towers tell the city back to itself" and "with the rising sun they burn golden."

  3. Thank you Lola.very much for reading and commenting.
    And Thank you Kerry too, I so appreciate your feedback.
    Of course Kerry, you are welcome to any that suit your purpose. A way into the puente I found is look at your short form poems that were less than what you want for the form, One puente was built from a tanka that I wanted a few more syllables to elaborate. the other was transformed from a Sedoka that already has almost two halves, I wanted the contrast a little more exaggerated. In both I had the syllable count exactly mirror each other.

  4. Hey,Lilly, I really like this one.