Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Puente of the city

the glass towers tell
the city back to itself
in cold images
of concrete,

~steel and emptiness~

echo noise,
reflecting blank expressions
yet with the rising
sun they burn golden



written February 2010

4 comments:

  1. Oh lovely, Lillian! That last line just turns the whole man-made skyline into something magical.

    I'm sharing all I learnt on PF. Next Sunday is the Waltz Wave and I specifically want to refer to your work in that form, if I may.

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  2. Nice contrasting views of a city in this one. I love the lines "the glass towers tell the city back to itself" and "with the rising sun they burn golden."

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  3. Thank you Lola.very much for reading and commenting.
    And Thank you Kerry too, I so appreciate your feedback.
    Of course Kerry, you are welcome to any that suit your purpose. A way into the puente I found is look at your short form poems that were less than what you want for the form, One puente was built from a tanka that I wanted a few more syllables to elaborate. the other was transformed from a Sedoka that already has almost two halves, I wanted the contrast a little more exaggerated. In both I had the syllable count exactly mirror each other.

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  4. Hey,Lilly, I really like this one.

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