Thursday, October 13, 2011

Soaring High

Falling is a way to die
from the high bridges and planes
some tempted fate, others tried
suicide, escaped their pains.

Dying is a way to fall;
To God's call our soul replies
and heads home, while flesh and bone
in graves thrown can never rise.

Falling is a way to fly:
soaring high kites look like gulls
but grounded by a strong string.
Though winds bring it high, earth pulls.

written May, 2011


  1. Your first lines' interplay is arresting, and adds an extra dimension to the whole poem. which has disturbing undercurrents, I think.

    By the way, the link you left on Imaginary Garden doesn't seem to be working? Perhaps you could go back and have another look? ♥

  2. This is a superb response to a very difficult form, Lillian. I loved the musicality which twisted through the lines.

  3. Very good example of the taxing rhyme scheme.

    Jinksy is right. The link you left returned "Page not found" until I deleted /2011 etc . .

  4. I see why. The final "l" of "html" in the URL is missing. You'd think something as smart as a computer would put that right for you!!

  5. Thanks every one for pointing out that the link didn't work, I tried putting it up several times and it kept showing the one with blog/blog blah blah blah and lots of numbers. I have no idea why, so I left it. But today I finally got the right link.
    I started studying the welsh forms months ago and it took me about 1-2 weeks to write it, set it aside, edit, set it aside edit, etc. until I was finally satisfied. I can't imagine turning out ones as good as I have read on here in a few days. I am humbled by this group's ability. A big hand all round to everyone who even attempted it !

  6. Agree with Jinksy - the variations on the first line make this poem stand out.

  7. One rhyme is particularly haunting
    * * * * others tried
    suicide, * * * *
    because I've never thought of "tried" and "suicide" as part of a rhyme scheme. Very well done, and yes, your use of "falling is a" in two completely different ways really makes this poem unique.

    Kay, Alberta, Canada
    An Unfittie’s Guide to Adventurous Travel

  8. whoosh, yes, those first lines! i am impressed.